Have you seen my mojo?

I have lost my mojo. You know, that thing that carries you through this world a little happier, a little easier. I don’t know when it left, where it went, or how to get it back. I am a mother to 3. I stay at home and take care of them. That is what my life is.

Trust me, I am not complaining about that! I love that I have the ability to stay home. I am not “whining” about that because I know there are a lot of people who would love to stay home with their family but have to work.

It’s just somewhere along the way I lost who I was. I lost what made me feel special.

I get up every morning and my life is immediately “mom” I jump into doing for them. For the rest of the day it’s making their food, cleaning up their mess, keeping them from yanking each other’s heads off, taking them to the store, keeping them from climbing the walls at the store, coming home and trying to clean while having my 4 year old chew on the lamp cord, my 6 year old punching him the back of the head. My 12 year old laughing at me when I tell her if she doesn’t stop talking back to me she is going to be in trouble. Fighting bedtime routines, having my 4 year old clench his teeth shut while I brush his teeth, spitting on me because he is mad. Having my 6 year old slam the door shut because he pushed his sister as she walked past so she pushed him back and then he got in trouble. Finally getting them into bed, exhausted but not wanting to sleep because I NEED some time to myself. But using that time to veg out instead of reminding me what I loved about me. Doing something that I loved, that is just for me.

I have a 4 year old son, Lovebug who has autism, my 6 year old, monkey-boy has ADHD and my beautiful 12 year old daughter, Trouble is a pre-teen! That equals CRAZY in my house! It also means mom is all I have time for.

But it’s turning me into a grouchy, moody, don’t wanna go anywhere or do anything with anyone kind of mom. I am tired. Tired of having to fight to get my kids to listen and tired of breaking up the fights between them. (Yes I get the irony of that, but I can only fix one problem at a time)

For now I am fixing me. I love photography! My whole life I have always wanted a DSLR and finally got one. I am teaching myself, very slowly, how to take it off Auto and I’m exploring life through the lens. I am finding myself wanting to take the kids out and have fun so I can see what magic appears on my LCD screen. I am trying to make my kids smile so I can capture it. I am finally getting my “happy” back! 

This is my Lovebug                      

These are my attempts at taking my camera off auto J